Paperaxle Reviews: The Change-Up

I put off watching this movie for over a week. I outgrew movies where the sole purpose of the main character is only to get laid by as many women as he can. But I had people telling me that this movie was a lot better than "Horrible Bosses", and I really liked that movie.

Christ... look at the plot. Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman) is a successful lawyer, and is married with three children. His best friend Mitch Planko (Ryan Reynolds) is a single, unemployed actor who takes too many drugs and refuses to grow up. Both friends believe the other has the better life and would love to switch lifestyles. One night, after having way too much to drink, both men find themselves walking through a park, with an urgent need to piss and the only available spot is in a wishing fountain.

And by pissing in the wishing fountain and talking about how each other has the better life, they find themselves in each other's bodies, and living each other's lives.

Now that sounds like quality entertainment, right? Isn't this a remake of "Freaky Friday"?

This is a movie where the raunchiness dances around the rim of the toilet seat, looks deep inside, but fortunately can (for the most part) pull back before taking that plunge. It wasn't full blown "Hangover" disgusting, but it comes close. (Jesus... I never thought I'd see a baby's ass puckering up before letting out an explosive shit! And I laughed at that! Out loud! What the hell is wrong with me?) The only thing about the movie which I didn't care for, and which the movie couldn't avoid, is the consequences of best friends changing bodies and the complications of Mitch sleeping with his best friend's wife, while Dave is nearly getting laid by nearly every girl he meets. (And nearly every female in this movie has a nude scene!)

If "Horrible Bosses" is the funniest movie I've seen this year, then "The Change-Up" comes in second, and that's something that's hard for me to admit. Jason Bateman has pulled off something that Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, and Adam Sandler can't do... that is to make two very funny movies in a row. Who woulda thunk it?

This 112 minute movie comes with a high recommendation, and I'm giving it 4 wet t-shirts and a dirty diaper. Just leave your brain in the car before you go in the theater, and you'll have a great time!

Paperaxle Reviews "Rio"

Well, I really wanted to like this film. I can't really explain why I didn't.

Blu (voiced by Jesse Eisenberg) is the last blue macaw in the world. As a baby, he was smuggled from his home in sunny Rio de Janeiro and left alone in snowy Moose Lake, Minnesota, where he is adopted by a young girl, Linda (Leslie Mann).

Fifteen years later, a biologist from Rio de Janeiro tracks down Blu and asks Linda if he can use Blu to mate with the last female blue macaw in the world, Jewel (Anne Hathaway) to repopulate the species. Linda obliges, tales Blu to Rio to meet Jewel and they are both kidnapped by a cockatoo named Nigel and delivered to some smugglers... is this review sounding just as bad to me as it is to you?

The macaws escape from the smugglers, and spend the rest of the 96 minute movie trying to get Blu back to Linda, but since Blu doesn't know how to fly, it makes things difficult. They meet up with Rafael (played by George Lopez), a toucan who tries to teach Blu how to fly. Because the movie takes place in Rio de Janeiro, of course they're going to have the plot revolve around Carnival. And I can't make this synopsis sound any better no matter how hard I try.

There are some interesting characters that Blu and Jewel meet along the way, including a bulldog named Luiz (played by Tracy Morgan), Pedro the cardinal (Will.i.am) and Nico the canary (Jamie Foxx). So the film isn't a total loss.

I guess my problem is with Jesse Eisenberg's portrayal of Blu. After seeing him in "The Social Network", I have an image of him as a total nerd who can't do comedy (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). Even though he was in "Zombieland", he wasn't a standout to me. Blu comes off as rather stiff and uninteresting, and I would have rather seen someone who can bring more comedy to the character... maybe even Seth Rogen or Zach Galifinakis would have been a better choice.

The movie also seemed full of padding. When you think the movie is nearly over, along comes another twist that adds to the running time. How many times can Blu be kidnapped in an hour and a half? By my count, at least three.

The movie is bright and colorful, and children loved it. Me, I'm just flipping it the bird. Starts Friday, April 15th.