Paperaxle Reviews a Review of "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides"

This time kids, we're going to do something a little bit different. I'll admit, I didn't see this movie earlier this week, but my wife did. So I had her give me her review, and I'll review that review so I can give you a review of this movie. And quit complaining... as Elwood Blues used to say... "Whaddya want for nothing? A rrrrubbber biscuit?"

Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is on a mission to find the lost Fountain of Youth. His previous ship, the Black Pearl, has been destroyed on a previous movie (I don't know which one, I haven't seen the last two installments and didn't like the first one), so he has to find a new ship to launch his journey. Jack's father, Captain Teague (Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones) warns Jack not to make the attempt to find the Fountain.

Jack runs into Angelica (Penelope Cruz), a former girlfriend, who is now a pirate and the daughter of Blackbeard (who had previously destroyed the Black Pearl), and is taken aboard Angelica's ship to find the Fountain.

My wife was telling me all this, and mentioned something about mermaids and voodoo dolls, and I was trying to keep my eyes open, but that's all I can remember. I do know that if you love these movies, this one is the best installment since the first movie, and you'll want to stay for a post-credit scene that sets up the next movie. Pam is giving this 137 minute movie three peg-legs and a parrot.

Sorry guys, I'll try to do better for the six or seven of you that follow this blog. This weekend I have tickets for a movie that I had to sign an agreement not to reveal, which means I can't review it until October or face the wrath of the studio that puts out this movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei5l3r1dV4I

But don't worry, I'll be back next week with reviews of "Hangover 2" and "Attack the Block", and the week after that will be "X-Men: First Class" which I already have my screener passes for.

Paperaxle Reviews "Mars Needs Moms"

In a unique 520-day experiment to simulate a mission to Mars, a six-man international team of researchers completed the first leg of the journey last month. The team of male volunteers, which also includes two more Russians and a Frenchman, went into isolation last June as part of the Mars-500 experiment to gauge the physical and psychological effects of a long-term mission. Before they rejoin life on Earth, their handlers will subject them to the claustrophobia, stress and fatigue that real spacefarers experience. A similar isolation trial at the institute 11 years ago broke down when a Canadian volunteer said a male colleague tried to forcibly kiss her. Two other team members came to blows.

Mars doesn't need this. Mars Needs Moms.

Apparently Disney, the studio that produced such classic science-fiction classics such as Wall-E and The Cat From Outer Space, thinks so.

Thanks be to coyotecat, I was able to attend a preview of this movie over the weekend, and although I wasn't expecting an awful lot from it (it still staggers me how Toy Story 3 was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar!), I must admit I was pleasantly surprised.

The plot is simple enough: Late one night, Milo (a 9-year old boy with the voice of Seth Green) witnesses the kidnapping of his mom (played by Joan Cusack) by Martians, stows away on the spaceship taking his mother to the red planet, and together with Gribble (Dan Fogler), an Earthman trapped on Mars, and who's mother was kidnapped 25 years earlier, set out to rescue Milo's mom. (See, there are no moms on Mars, only "NannyBots", and to program a NannyBot to raise Martian children, you need the life essence of an Earth mother. You know, I bet I just made that more complicated than it really needed to be...)

The story is based on the book by Berkeley Breathed (he of the late "Bloom County" and "Opus" newspaper comic strips), and the screenplay by the movie's director, Simon Wells (who previously directed the movie The Time Machine and is actually the great-grandson of H. G. Wells!) and Wendy Wells, adds much to the story, yet retains the humor and warmth of the book.

This movie cries out to be seen in Disney 3D and in IMAX, and I thought the effects were much better than Disney's last science-fiction effort, Tron: Legacy. The animation also far surpasses earlier Robert Zemeckis efforts such as The Polar Express and A Christmas Carol.

And a special bonus at the end of this 88 minute movie: the "performance capture" techniques used in the making of this movie makes it worth staying through the credits. The actors have literally acted out the entire movie and their movements were digitally animated. I thought it was an interesting look at how this movie was made.

The fun begins March 11th. Until then, watch the trailer here:

http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/marsneedsmoms/?cmp=dmov_dpic_mnm_url_Extl#home