Right now, there are two puckheads in the room discussing this movie: yours truly, “Sledge”, and my old hockey line mate, “Hammer” (6’5” defenseman who’s idea of a good time is rammin’ trash-talking punks into the boards, face first.) We’re not English majors, nor Harvard wannabes - just a couple of beer-swizzling guys from the dry Arizona desert who love movies.
Before we start, let’s get one thing straight. Hammer and I don’t see G rated movies or animated flicks - sorry James (I've run out of original ideas) Cameron - since there’s virtually no chance of naked females or gratuitous violence in it. Oh, and James... have you seen Dances With Wolves?
Let’s get started...
Movie: The Adjustment Bureau by Universal Pictures, starring Matt (kill me quick) Damon and the delicious, cleavage-exposing Emily Blunt. Written and directed by George (I need a new last name) Nolfi, adapted from a story called the Adjustment Team by Phillip (someone please buy my short story) Dick.
Story Outline: Failed Senate-candidate David Norris meats a stunning ballet dancer Elise Sellas in the hotel's men's room minutes before he's scheduled to give his concession speech. Elise challenges his moral fiber and begins to lure him into her seductive world. However, their budding love affair is soon interrupted by a group of clandestine men who wield their considerable powers to keep them apart. To avoid having his memory wiped by the Adjustment Bureau, David chooses never to see her again. But can he stay away? Deep down he knows they were meant to be together.
Sledge: So Hammer, any initial impressions about this surreal flick?
Hammer: At least this movie wasn’t directed by Paul (I’ve had too many Red Bulls) Greengrass, ‘cuz I forgot to bring my Dramamine along today.
Sledge: No shaky camera – refreshing to say the least. Any more of that cheap film-making trick and I’m going to go postal on someone. But that’s me. Whatever happened to well-planned action sequences and fight scenes that don't rely on cheesy parlor tricks?
Hammer: Good question. Hollywood's gotten lazy and they think none of us have noticed. We should be watching the story unfold, not watching the camera bounce around. It's such a distraction.
Sledge: Back on topic... What's your take on the movie's story premise?
Hammer: Good question. Hollywood's gotten lazy and they think none of us have noticed. We should be watching the story unfold, not watching the camera bounce around. It's such a distraction.
Sledge: Back on topic... What's your take on the movie's story premise?
Hammer: Wonderfully done. Not a rehash of every government/corporate conspiracy movie ever made. It's uniquely different from anything I’ve seen. It kept me interested from start to finish. Good pace.
Sledge: I thought I had the “real story” pegged, which is usually the case, but they surprised me and didn’t take the easy way out. Well done, George. Let us know when you write something else. We'll be sure to see it.
Hammer: When I left the theatre, I still felt engrossed in this story, wondering if reality had shifted while I was absent for that two hours - much like I did when I walked out of the theatre after the Matrix, part 1. What was your favorite part of the movie, Sledge?
Sledge: That’s a tough one. There were many. I enjoyed Emily Blunt’s opening scene with the unveiling of her men’s room cleavage, which was different and unexpected. Got to love a chick who can get her freak on in the men’s room. Too bad they stole some of Fringe’s thunder with the frat boys running around with the derby’s, looking like Mulder rejects, controlling fate. But that's a minor complaint.
Hammer: The smooth transitions between the various locations (connected by hidden doorways) was remarkable and made New York
Sledge: More of Emily’s leg cleavage on the bus would have been nice, too. But all in all, no wasted scenes or useless action. Just the right touch of everything. Emily can even dance a little, which makes her an easy choice for Black Swan, part II. Her and Natalie in bed together might be enough of a reason for me to go see it.
Hammer: I second that. One thing that I hadn’t seen before was Matt Damon walking into his new job, failing to notice that everyone was frozen in time. That was cool.
Sledge: Reminds me of my days working for the man and putting up with all the Sleepless in Seattle
Hammer: I kept wondering who the “Chairman” was, thinking it was Mr. Trump, and his gravity-defying hair, but I don’t want to spoil it for everyone, so I’ll leave it up to our readers to figure it out on their own.
Sledge: What about the ending?
Hammer: Not what I thought it was going to be, thank goodness (attn. lazy writers, please pay attention to this movie – no fricken shortcuts). A little neat and tidy, but it did the job.
Sledge: Normally, I would sit here and rip a movie and its scene writing apart, but not this time. Unlike Green Zone, which was like having my eyeballs carved out with an old corkscrew, Matt hit this one on the head. The love scene with Emily was too short and showed nothing, but hey, that’s me. I enjoy more jiggle factor when it comes to love scenes. I'm a caveman who needs stimulation. Hammer, any final thoughts before we get to the Trailer Previews from today?
Hammer: Good movie with a story that hasn’t been done to death. Well worth the cost of the gas and popcorn. Would see it again, definitely.
To watch the video trailer, click here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810119644/trailer
TRAILER TRASH:
To watch the video trailer, click here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810119644/trailer
TRAILER TRASH:
(our first impressions of the movie trailers seen today)
Sledge: First up was Water for Elephants. SNOOZE. Seen it before. However, Reece (legally yummy) Witherspoon looked extra delicious in some of the clips. She’s moved up on my to-do list, that’s for sure. But the story, come on - elephants? What’s next? Giraffes wearing meat ponchos? I’ll pass on this one, especially since Robert (I still suck even as a vampire) Pattinson is playing opposite of a real actor. Who's the casting director, some sixteen-year-old hormonal chick?
Hammer: Thank goodness Source Code filled the screen next, starring Jake (I wish I were Christopher Walken) Gyllenhall. Dumb title, but the clips looked interesting. Reminds me of Goundhog Day meets Deja Vu. I’ll see it.
Sledge: I'm with you. Apparently, Jake keeps restarting time by going back eight seconds before the train disaster, all in the name of trying to plug Michelle (I’m too hot for my pants) Monaghan. I can’t blame the guy. I’d cross the fabric of time and space for her, too.
Hammer: Next up, was Paul, starring Simon (Scotty) Pegg and Nick (who am I) Frost. I already have my tickets ordered for this one.
Sledge: Me, too - I’m first in line opening day. Just the type of twisted Sci-Fi I love. Alien Paul reminds me of an old neighbor of mine: short, gray, and never wore pants. I just hope we didn’t see the whole movie in the trailer. It looks hysterical.
Hammer: Following Paul, was Transformers eleven or whatever. It appears Michael (super slow mo) Bay has sold out, all in the name of cash. Even worse, Steven (I’m past my expiration date) Spielberg has lent his name to yet another yawner. What happened to their love of the work? NO MORE – please! Enough of the robots that talk like some dude on the juice. Had to suffer through the second Transformers, and now this? Let’s move on, already.
Sledge: Last but not least, Limitless starring Robert (I’m not going to do another Fockers movie) De Niro and Bradley (I’m finally over my hangover) Cooper.
Hammer: It seems like this movie is about some broke writer (like that’s a surprise) who takes a smart pill and takes on the world (not the strongest premise). Looks interesting, but an entire movie about a smart writer? Seems a little far-fetched, don’t you think, Sledge?
Sledge: I’ll go see it, hoping for a nice topless scene or two with Abbie (I’m sexier than a headliner stripper) Cornish. What a total package – I could just sit there in the theater with her face on pause the whole time. Good enough for me.
That’s it for this week. Feel free to leave your own comments.
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