Take two scoops of “Buck Rogers”, a half cup of “Cowboys and Aliens”, a dash of early Superman (strange visitor from another planet who initially couldn’t fly, but could leap an eighth of a mile), a pinch of Conan and a smidgen of “Where the Wild Things Are”, mix well and you get the recipe for the new movie “John Carter”.I was initially hoping it was about what happens to the doctor played by Noah Wyle in the television series “ER”, because during the last year or two of that program, that was the only character that I even liked. But it’s not that John Carter. No… this John Carter is a Civil War veteran who in 1881 discovers a mysterious “cave of gold” in the Arizona Territory which somehow transports him to the planet Mars (also known as “Barsoom”, which sounds like a bad cartoon sound effect used in Mad Magazine to describe an explosion).
Once on Barsoom/Mars, Carter (played by Taylor Kitsch) finds he has “superpowers” due to the lighter gravity of the planet. His strength has increased ten-fold and can now leap over tall buildings in a single bound. In a nutshell, the entire plot consists of one band of warriors pitted against another band of warriors, with our boy Johnny caught in the middle, and all he wants to do is get back home to Earth. To describe much more of the story would be beyond my capabilities, because I started getting lost a little bit in keeping the details straight.
During his adventures, Carter meets (and falls in love with) the princess of Helium, Dejah Thoris (played by Lynn Collins) and even adopts a “dog” named Woola, who provides the comic relief in this movie. There are several well placed “easter eggs” in this movie, most notably that of the character Edgar Rice Burroughs (who in real life, actually created John Carter of Mars, as well as Tarzan of the Apes).The screenplay (by the director Andrew Stanton, as well as Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon, who wrote the Pulitzer Prize winning book of 2000 “The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay”) is very well written, with moments of true humor and thrilling action. Any fault I find with this 132 minute movie is due to a minor flare up of my “wince-o-meter” which went into overdrive during the last 20 minutes or so of the movie. Things wrapped up a little too quickly, with a few unexplained questions that weren’t addressed. It was like the screenwriters didn’t know if they should have a sequel or not, so they covered their bets.
The movie is in 3-D, which it didn’t need to be, and is rated PG-13, probably for some violence and gore. I’d give this one three “Barsooms”… it’s enjoyable with great special effects and the story is good enough to want to see more of the characters. I’d even go a little bit higher if the ending wasn’t so rushed. 